Wednesday, April 19, 2006

When The Past Does Not Hide

It's been the 5th week of school. She's been real nice to me, real helpful. I still cling on to my expectations I had in JVS. Holding on to my secondary school days. How the ubiety of even the 'extras' is something I long for.
Back then you wake up and willingly move into the rat race only for the joy and accompany from your friends.

I love my lower secondary school days, where you can be so jaunty and everything's just 'Fun Fun FUN'. When you can look stupid and have the excuse to. We fight over a fan after PE. Seb slips rubbish into Mr Lee's pocket during his enjoyment of teaching Geography and the whole class tries her best to hold her laughter. Pasti, Karmun, Shaf, Suhali, Rashid and I would camwhore during science practicals. How my class is the only one that gathers after eating during recess to actually talk together. Exchanges of Marilyn Manson-s with Johnatton.
My upper secondary school days where fun and excitement comes. Where from 2D to 4A, Shaf and Pasti are still close to me even though the different classes separate us. We finally appreciate the growth we experience and notice the abuse in each other. My toilet gossips, waiting for someone to come in and talk to us when we skip lessons. 'Tai-di' sessions during assembly skipping. Singing bitch songs and not be the only stupid one having it stuck in your head. Do the 'Do you wanna/You're so lucky'.

Now it's as if we're forced into adulthood. Even though it's Central Institute for me. It's about...
"Do we have any assignments?"
"When's our Chemistry test?"
Questions pop, the ones we never asked back then, the ones we related as 'pick-up' lines.

There's this barrier between me and others. It's like I can't say anything or start a conversation unless I'm properly introduced to them by someone.
You're late because you drag yourself out. It's like you have no purpose going, you go cause you have to.

You question what life has to offer for you.

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