Dine Ever So Politely

Ho-ho. Day 1 as a waitress.
I got a oversized shirt as my uniform, it looks awful on me.

You know I've got this huge ego for a woman. I like winning! (What, I win most of the time; only because I've been told I'm wrong since I was really young. Smartens you up very well.) Waitress means serving, and see I won't admit that my ego is big enough for me to feel uncomfortable serving strangers.
Or maybe I just kinda did.

Never attempt to be a snob in a middle class restaurant like this place. You'll get laughed at.

And all this while I though at least 80% of the world says please and thank you-s to waiters like I do. - I was wrong, very very wrong.

Take My Picture

I kinda hate photographic/journalists. Especially those whom take photographs from a nice and an extreme safe distance from natural disasters.

This is why: Lets see if I die in a.... tornado for instance.
There I am running for my life away from the big vortex of air; watching cars, trees, houses and cows (What, I like cows. Besides they always fly in movies) fly past me, making a huge mess similar to most of our rooms just a million times bigger.
So running and running and there, there's this guy taking a photograph of my pathetic attempt to save my own life, after that I explode and get torn into a million pieces. The guy then sells the photograph that I made worth thousands to journals and newspapers.
The guy doesn't even try to save me!
Just a photograph that he can sell when he survives.

Please Lord never let me die in a natural disaster. Hmm in addition, not naked in the bathroom, as a passenger in a car accident, eaten by a wild animal and definitely not because of the polluted earth idiots sporadically help when they like it.

If I do die I will haunt that photographer forever so every picture he takes has 80% of me in it. I will give my ghostly cheesy funny faces with extreme adorableness that I ooze out with. When he develops his pictures he will be so terrified by my ghastly grotesque expressions that he will not live any more!
Or at least never be able to make a living out of photography.

I really wouldn't want to do that. See how much I don't wanna die in a natural disaster?
HEH.

SubQuestionableCulture

I swear I'm a comic book character and someone out there is reading about me.
I want to do the Napoleon all round giggly on a busy street while my partner in crime throws confetti at me.
I am so hot I throw sexy intimidation combos at all the boys!
I'm not fat I'm squishy!
I will make fun of an emo kid so badly that he will bitch about me on his deadjournal and then put a horrible curse on me so that very bad, unsafe moshers will run into me on the street.
I want a talking robot PC, I bet he would wank to best 'buy and accessories' catalogs.
I FART ROSY BROWNIES.
If by Indie terms, good bands are the ones that barely anyone has heard of, then the Nobellers must be the best!

Big Ring Investment

My brother, Adrian and I normally sit in front of the television after 7 together to either watch a stupid movie or another series. That's how we bond, through lots of television and from that I never grew out primary school with him.

There was a new television show called 'I propose'.
So then he asked "Why must girls have such a big diamond ring on the proposal."

"It's a very good investment, the bigger your ring the less crazy your wife will be in the future. It works like a pre-paid card. The ring is your deposit on how crazy your wife will be when you cheat on her. And you definitely will cause men only work on only hormones and have no emotions or logical thinking.
If your ring is bigger now then she will think "Oh at least he used to love me cause he spent as much as he could on me and now I can't do anything about it. Hmmm, I should go get this pawned." See that way she will have material wealth that will sustain her from any emotional shock, and she will use that money to bring up her new love; the children.
Even if she does go crazy she will chop off her finger, sell your ring and check herself into a mental ward away from you and your new mistress ensuring that you will have the best time of your life nevertheless. Aren't woman such caring creatures?"

Adrian: "Is that how you scare all your boyfriends away? Are you lesbian now?"