2009

Resolutions:

1. Start smoking only SKL. Don't judge it by it's price. The Swiss came up with it so it would be more environmentally friendly, some way the cigarette burns with less smoke or less harmful smoke. But it's manufactured in Malaysia. SMOKE GREEN CIGARETTES.
2. Discover what exactly I would like to do for a living.
3. Understand we're no longer young. Holes in our hearts are not meant for filling up. No time for foolishness.
4. Find a University (overseas) to go to.
5. Go to great places, heights, songs, sunsets, meadows, beds.
6. Uphold the beliefs and lives of the great names.
7. Prepare myself for a revolution.
8. Tighten groups of friends.
9. I shall no longer be content. Work hard beyond the boundaries of others, geography, money, judgement and myself to seek exactly what I want; exactly what happiness is.
10. Learn a new language.
11. Find but not a donor of seeds; uses 100 dollar words for the art of flirting; a disgrace for the concept of family. Instead whom to love the other truly, madly, deeply.
12. Remember not to let salt water films develop around memories, heartaches and displays.
13. Be brave not shy.
14. Find something out of nothing.
15. Register for a driver's license.
16. Continue the dance of expression.
17. Quarterly body cleansing.
18. Find a new band.
19. Believe that the jack of trades can be the master.
20. (Annual) Achieve the big O.

To-save-up-for:

• Graphic card (for Devil May Cry 4).
• External hard disc.Pair of Chuck Taylors.
• A new hand bag classy yet tossable.
• Diamond ring.
• Tickets to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (if they ever might decide to come).
• 2nd hand car.
• The uncertain future.

CLH At Block 3

"Eh i at clinic H lah."
"Where are you i cannot see you!"
"Can you see the counter?"
"No."
"Okay wait I know where are you."
....
"Where are you? whats around you."
"The gardeny thing lah".(pauses). "okay okay pharmacy!"
....
"WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"OUTSIDE THE PARMACY LA."
"I ALSO"
"meet you at 7 11 at the main building enterance."
"EH I THOUGHT THAT ONE CHEERS?"
"where did you say you CLH was?"
"Block 3."
"There's no block 3... Only Kent Ridge Wing and the Main Building."
"EH you working at NUH."
"Yeah lah."
"I working at SGH lah dey!"
"WTF, YOU TOLD ME NUH."
"AHHH HAHAHAHA, OMG GINSENG..."

After that I had take a walk, a walk damn far from the department to take a smoke. If you ever want to quit smoking work at a hospital, it takes a lot of effort to go for a smoke break so you might get tired and quit completely.

Karthigah has been messing with my head... Bitch.
If she wasn't my home grown ginseng dick I would kill her.

Lunch At Staff Canteen

There is an air of elegance for business people like Haruka Nishimatsu is the CEO of Japan Airlines. When the economy tanked, he cut his own luxuries and salary first. He earns even less than his pilots.

The sweet work culture of Japan, the company heads themselves; bear the brunt of hard times and try to cushion the employees from it as much as possible.
And the meaning of all this is because they do not believe in profit first for a great company. That is probably why company loyalty is such a huge factor in Japan.

Compare this with the stark madness of pay cheques belonging to congress men and businessmen in USA or even Singapore.

Starch Wall Fabric Decal

I finally got to doing my starch fabric wall art.
I got inspired cause I hate white walls as most people do. Since I didn't see the value in buying vinyl pieces on the Internet (albeit, the professionally done; less work needed steps), I Googled and found starch is good on the walls. It also doesn't ruin your walls when you want to remove it, the most you have to do is scrub a little in case the threads still stick on the walls.

If you want to do this project:

1. Just sketch a pattern.
2. Draw it out on fabric.
3. Lay it down on the floor and make sure it looks good first.
4. Here's your sticky wall glue: Stir 1/4 cup corn starch into 1/2 cup cold water. Then pour in 4 cups of boiling water and mix it up. Tapioca flour does better though. It's ALOT actually so estimation at this point is a good skill.
5. Also, work fast if you can so you can always readjust your art to make sure it looks as good on the wall as the floor since doing things vertically is always more difficult.

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Diarrhoea Comes 30mins After Curry Chicken

Met up with a 9 primary schoolmates tonight.

Yeah, the times where the teacher's table and chairs were taller for a reason. We brushed our teeth together and then allow our toothbrush to sit in a corner and collect disgusting specks of dust and whatnots. I also played with a family of toads well along with the conventional hopscotch, rope skipping and a little netball.

Pretty amazing how all of us turned out the people whom I haven't met in 7 years or so, grew up to be pretty awesome. Not all of us have it all, not smart and gorgeous at the same time, least we have each other. And we all spoke without a Chinese accent for some reason, grew up to look pretty hot too.

Normally no one would bother buying something for pot-luck... Yeah everyone else thought the same thing and decided to be nice people...
We had a hell lot of food, too fucking hell much. I assume Jeannette's family could save some dough from eating our left overs.

Conclusions from our meet:

• Boys our age only talk about NS life now.
• Earphones make good unisex presents.
• I trip over plastic chairs.
• Girls who game, defeat the stereotype and go beyond the status quo... Must be sexy then?
• Smoking does make everyone feel like taking a dump.
• Shawn says animals when asked 'Who did you like then' and is fascinated with dancing dogs.
• Whenever I meet Joseph somehow he'll say fuck you. I'll ask when and then it never happens.
• I intend to use Joseph's seeds so I can have pets.
• Boys are really proud of themselves when they cook.
• The Swiss get stressed over algebra and ratio, and take a smoke. The Chinese kids go to the front of the board.
• The Swiss have the highest happiness index, we know now cause they're a little dumb.
• German has 'his, hers and neutral' which greatly affects the following adverb, verb and maybe adjective.
• Everyone knows they're going to my funeral first.
• Scooby stinks.

Jourtherasurgpolitlawyphysisociopatho-isteonianyer

A colleague had a little chat with me today. Being the youngest, it automatically deems into having to spill all your educational insights, achievements and failures to everyone. Fortunately for me, this time people actually have interesting advice.

I don't have to decide now, technically I have about 6 months. I don't have to know what I should do now since it just worries me. It always worries me that I don't have a dream like other lucky people.
They explained that everything I want to do which I think I can't, means I have to think of an alternative. Like medicine, I may not be able to be a doctor; especially not in Singapore but I can be a therapist.
They also explained that do something that in general you would like so in case you get bored of your position with good enough papers you can easily switch to another one and still do something you have a passion for.
I should go overseas at least once to study, maybe for masters for instance. That way I'll be able to explore the world at a time when I most need it.

People like me don't know what we want to do with our lives cause well, we don't know what we love doing the most. I want to make a contribution to the World instead of sitting in a bathtub with money, though that'd still be nice.

So I made myself a kid, thought of everything I would want to be whether possible or not. I made a small list. Slowly I'll cross out everything except for one.

Wow my post title sounds like some complex age old dinosaur or pink cat eating plant

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MERRY ASS-MAS EVERYONE
Yeah, I still hate Christmas.

Whoever You Want To Be

I was in a frantic mess trying to get presents for my colleagues. I've only been working for about 10 days or so and I am only a temp but they got presents for me. On a tight budget I searched for tiny gifts with a budget of 6 per person. I got the girls mini doll accessory hooks, you know the kind most women are crazy for, but overly and insanely overpriced. I got them for 5 dollars each.

Anyhow, the ah beng who helped me get all of them into boxes started a conversation with me while I tried to uphold his effort and settle it down softly in my horrendous ethic reason for being Chinese. He asked where I was working and everything, told him at a hospital and he said he has pains all over.
"I'm not that sort of doctor, I'm a plastic surgeon."

I can see why Arid enjoys lying to strangers.

Ear Puncher

I particularly hate nightmares not because of fear or waking up in shock.
But my subconscious self likes to hurt my body when I get nightmares. Most of the time it's scratch scabs, blue-blacks or red marks here and there with good bad and not so so good.

Today it was ugly.

Last night I a bad nightmare that caused me to wake up in the ghastly hours of 3-ish. I went back to sleep of course and judged that I wasn't well enough to go to work already at that point.
When I got up at 8 again, I felt a little better. Broke out in cold sweat not surprising since I had forgotten to turn off the timer of the AC.

Took a bath and a screeching pain shook my nerves, my ear was horribly red and swelling.
I thought the stud had come off during my sleep. But the stopper was still at the back of my ear.

Then I realised that the stud head had embedded itself into my ear, the thick nerve not-lobe part. I think it had gone in about half way for it to come out the other side cause I can move the stud in and outta sight, COMPLETELY.
I swear if I was awake and conscious I wouldn't have the guts to do this myself since it's not the lobe.

Gun studs are my worst horror cause I always have difficulty taking them out. I'd only manage to resurface the stud from my skin other than that I have no idea what to do now until I meet someone who can take it out for me.

Must have been one hardcore of a nightmare.
Crap, my subconscious self is an emo kid who hates her life and is trying to take over mine by killing me in my sleep.
Bah foreboding. Fucketty fuck.

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Redbull and Cheryl should never ever mix.

When It's Time Don't Be Shy

I had an awesome time with Arid today. There's nothing like spending a lazy day in bed cuddling and watching TV then, getting up to take a walk and share a Whooper.

I've this annoying obsession to walk into actual jewellery stores with my rich-girl-but-don't-care-about-dressing-up poise adopted from my father and try on diamond rings. My apparent taste goes for nothing below 5K... Shittay fuck.
Gorgeous 2 row diamond rings only meant for evening dinners, when I will make sure every day is an evening dinner. Asking whether there are discounts for Goldheart members.

I'm going to get my own soon. If not gonna be natural-made, man-made will equally be fine. That'd mean I can buy more and buy bigger rocks!
Then I will be on the rocks!

And the salesperson is always non-judgemental and sweet.
I passed by wedding bands and I was amused by his quote
"When it's time don't be shy"

Spilt Seams

There's this old slapstick laugh when people watch clowns, extremely fat people, losers either hit their heads or sometimes get their pants spilt at the seams.

I know how those clowns feel like now...
I had to walk around the office and the whole of NUH in usual office attire plus a hot red Ralph Lauren jacket tied around my hips in the most unfashionable 60s manner. I couldn't even go for the department dinner neither and the less embarrassing excuse that carried the same weight for not being able to walk around normally was that I had stained myself during the woman's week.

Honestly the pants weren't tight. I am not a denying 'L' for bottoms.

Suddenly there's a vivid memory of an echoing rip early this morning...

Made Of Bricks

I've been listening to Kate Nash again recently. It's really annoying that most of the time she just seems like she's talking. Her music always sounds the same. Yet I still think she's awesome when I start listening to her again after a long time since I got bored of her.

Typist

I've been doing work at too much of a high rate. That's a bad thing when you have to stressful-ly pretend to be busy for 3 hours till you get to end work. Even actors don't work that long in one scene without stopping/breaks/bloopers.

The girl whom I took over did 100 entries per day while I'm doing a 150. Pure boredom.
Once again I'm stuck in a runt where I'm paid to be bored. The worst kind of job ever.
Plus I think reading a book at my desk for entertainment isn't exactly nice for others to watch.

Content

I'm in this state of mind where I'm unhappy about everything. I'm always having this difficultly with separating being too contented and too demanding.
Should everything stay the way it is cause it's comfortable enough to live?
Or should I change things because they can get better with the sacrifice of a few dates with getting drunk and crying.

I'm writing tons of poetry spams now for the sake of writing my mood off.

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I'm getting this very bad habit of sleeping at 5AM on Saturday mornings instead of Friday nights. Only to wake up at 10ishAM...
I should start part-time work at a club or pub like that...

Thief

I'm at my wits end to the biggest moral debate my life has ever casually floated by!

OH! The laws and teachings of honesty, karma, and good and evil.

I experience a challenge at work...
Whilst under the mercy of freezing cold air conditioning, I feel claustrophobic; windows are none. The angle of where my cubical is placed, all so near the frequently visited common pantry... It creates this sense of being under the scrutiny of everyone.
My sense of paranoia increases in folds; multiples of 5.

I sit at my desk, I pause, I stop typing.
I attempt to defeat the temptation as the thought of an easier life seduces me into it's dark wrongful doing.
"Respect for the possessions of others, restitution for injustices, respect for the common goods of humanity, a just economic order, just wages (family wage) and working conditions, love for the poor (in imitation of God's preference for the poor and oppressed)."
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL!!

Now you ask what is it an office girl can steal so much as to cause such a stir...
It's not stationary, it's not the colleague's personal belongings, it's not that looking awesome cake in the refrigerator. NO!

It's complaint forms written in cursive mandarin handwriting .
I have problems reading those.
SHITTAY.

PS. I brought them home to throw away in the end. Well I haven't yet but unless I'm not lazy enough not to ask my sister in law for help then I will.

I Am A Vampire

Edward is supposed to be hotter than Bella...
Where did they pick this piece of junk...

Patient Relations

Today was my first day of very very dry work.
Data entry in the patient relations department. Also bluntly known as the complaint department. We collate all comments and suggestions that never end. Most complaints come from the Emergency sector, ironic huh. Coming from the supposedly most famous hospital in sunny SG.

It's quite funny reading all the comments. Take for example, "All patients before me took 10 minutes or more when consulting the doctor. What is the doctor doing during the 10 minutes?! I only took 5 minutes to see the doctor!" I figured it must be one of those people gravely unsatisfied with their lives.
So I went to look up for the department she went to,
Neroscience.
Psychological medication.
Well... She really is crazy.
HA!

I Met The Walrus

Ku ku ka ju!

Loser Stompers

Citizen journalism is the lowest form of media, it does not refine journalism as some professions claim. All such efforts should at least be refined to participatory journalism. There's already enough junk flying around on The Internet.

I detest STOMP@SG!

You have a bunch of old fogies who have now grasped the wonders of IT skills and the use of The Internet. An incredible excuse for them to stop loitering under blocks and allow them to have the same or even more satisfaction from their bountiful comments and observations. It's like the whole nation going neighbourhood police. The undying need for people to become social vigilante is insane. Any asshole is a celebrity.

They violently shame people without giving them a right to defend themselves. Exaggeratedly almost as vicious as the Roman Empire.
Sure I hate my 'kiasu' and obnoxious nationals nevertheless, they don't seem to be the ones who read STOMP@SG cause nothing's happening.

If catholic girls want to be capricious about their virginities and the elderly are assholes because they think they have the right to; what difference will writing about it make if it obviously isn't read by those who should.
At the end I see a gang of teenagers going down the growth spurt into the stage of complainers (normally that's 40). It's even worst seeing all the comments each post collects.

So girls are making out in uniform at playgrounds, the 40s park their butts in front of train doors, many people who have a C class license still can't read signs, there are signs in broken English everywhere, pranksters who come up with new goods, queue cutters are as violent as uncivilized, customers are abused by services, etc.
You can't have the perfect society unless you're living in Sweden. When you're the only resource it's bound to make you a little more crazy. Just happens so you're not and the rest of Singapore is.
It's like Japan where people don't speak and can afford headphones on trains, they have a traditionally conservative heritage and yet they have machines selling used panties and anal finger toys on the street.

The most ironic thing though must be the fact almost all "reporters" state that they are embarrassed by their subject's actions and yet they are post the story on the World Wide Web.
I CAN'T BELIEVE STOMP IS UNDER THE STRAITS TIMES!

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I've become very fat to the point that I'm scaring myself at how ugly I look now.

Save The Cheerleader

You either hate them or love them. It's a bit extreme. When you're one of them you tend to automatically get a little bit cocky too.

Last year I was one of them. I was pushed to become a flyer within half an hour or so without the mental protection or confidence of a safety mat. I wasn't exactly light weight neither so that made it even more difficult to trust a stranger. But I did it for a good friend so I pushed myself.
It was actually thrilling to be up there in the air. It was only when I faced the whole school I freaked out like stage fright before a dance number.

In America especially Cheerleaders train like their actual football counterparts. They strive to maintain their weight and fight against overstretched muscles or weakened joints to perfect their routines; they strive even more not to let their team mates down.

They typically practice on the rubber cemented track next to the field, maybe find a nice grass patch or if a little bit luckier they use the school halls with thin mats mainly used for sit ups.

Little do people or the cheerleaders themselves know the dangers they embark in when they're flown into the air. Dozens have died from falls, lost their ability to walk or even hear.

The impact of the fall of a 'Pop' is absorbed greatly in the chest, slowly yet surely weakening the heart. There has never been a great report about the death of a cheerleader.
There are organisations and products to protect these cheerleaders, make them follow certain rules and conditions to their routines to protect themselves but that is still not enough because of the little knowledge of them.
Today dozen of those who touched death still long to go back into the air and have desperately tired their best to pass on the stories of their experience.

And yet these unsung heroes or rather heroines still fight peer pressure in order to find themselves and at the same time provide the liveliness at the stadiums.

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I'M SCARED OF EXTREMELY FAT PEOPLE.

Crayon On Face

I'm so sick of seeing women walking around in dead ugly make-up.
I'm not the sort who's terribly fantastic at it but I'm good enough for the interview, the picnic, the club and the stage. And I definitely know how to tell the difference between stage make-up and flawless lightness. Although I'm biased towards glitter these are my number 1 don't-s.

Everytime I look at someone's prom pictures there's definitely one with a dark neck, extremely fair skin; which highlights her ugly smile. Already wearing a low cut dress how can you forget your neck.


With or without, no one should ever go with untouched eyebrows once you reach 16.


Your lip liner is much darker than your lipstick you look like an undead doll yes perfect for Halloween. Or those who's daily routine consists of the dark eyeliner and greasy out of bed hair. If your hair looks like it hasn't been washed, your face isn't clean enough for crayons.


Leave to high fashion. I hope glitter gets into your eyes and blind you.


I never understood the concept of lip gloss... It's easily overdone and you look like you're a 4 year old drooling, while doing craft work (or precisely working with glitter) and sucking on a lollipop you found under the sofa cushion covers.

Exotic Stranger

Personal Jesus

By Depeche Mode has been covered my many many artists.

Today I came across Hilary Duff's version while watching MTV, sounds like a rip off from Marilyn Manson. And I'm not being biased just cause I've been a fan since 14 and his songs has never left my playlist. Horrorrrrr


Marilyn Manson's


Hilary Duff's