Men Rant

How to you live with men? I swear I'm going crazy.

The boy is always sick all the time, goes whining about it when it's obvious he's not well cause he's staying up late for no reason and has to get up early for work. There was once he had to wake me up from my sleep to wince in pain and unsympathetic girlfriend was ticked off.

The boy is also a fart machine that if I do not open the windows to get proper ventilation my eyes will water will they dry up and melt. Guess what?! He is completely oblivious and neutral to his rotten farts, unaffected, untouched and totally - "I swear there's no stink this time" - lying. There is no other weapon of mass destruction compared to a Calvin fart.

He can never put things back where they belong and everything always ends up on the floor. It's as if everything is a set of keys he cannot lose sight with and must throw it on the floor for obvious reasons. Not even dirty socks into the laundry?! And hangers must always land on the bed I'm still trying to get back to sleep on.

He is so fucking blind. Things can be placed clearly on the table for the early morning so when he rushes off to work he can take it. He totally forgets/didn't see it. The extent of his handicap is me pointing things smack in his face even though he's been staring at the same spot for half a minute or longer.

He buys things he never uses like 'What in God's name were you thinking' photography props, a bundle of rope for bondage and tapioca chips for display apparently. Where do I put these stuff?

He is the magnet of destruction. Just early this morning he decided to touch something and have my whole stand of hair products and hair bands fall apart, in another case like this he broke my ceramic gargle cup (in the damn morning when I frantically jumped out of bed and rushed to see if the pet got hurt).

He has very poor memory. Half of the time he cannot remember where he placed his things or did he even take them out?

SEE I KNOW I'M GOING CRAZY.