The Wildfire

Different places, different times but the same history. A prose to describe empathy and love:

I'm glad you came back maybe not consciously for me; but I'm glad you did.

The time and the place, the look on your face, sincerest of eyes. So drawn to you, so much want to embrace you.
We had the unexpected and we should espouse it.

We've all had our fair share, sure it didn't led nowhere. It built up fear, we lost hope.
You're not the only one. But I still hope, I will not be logical when it comes to this. I'm not sure if you would hurt me, it'd be easy. But I'll take the chance and you should too. I won't care about our own faults. Usually when it goes this far some people tend to disappear, so I'll surprise you.
I'll sweep you off your feet.

There's something going on, hours seem to disappear when I'm with you. We ignored the signs, the obvious raging emotions. No more games, no more twists.
"I think I'm in love with you."

-Cheryl

Surprise Ice

After creating the playlist for heartbroken Azahar, I felt so much anguish...
I could relate so much to the -not too far behind- torment and heartbreak.
The mourning of dead memories, stargazes and fixation.
Handwritten letters, photographs, memento are all packed into a box like a memorial.

I read my blog entries from 2 months ago. I sounded so... disquieted.
I remember drinking lots of gin -which was a bad idea, since it's increases anxiety when drunk in large amounts- with my iTunes in the background playing sombre folk rock and easy-listening.

Every failure brings me a step closer to the true success.
I am afraid but I won't stop myself from being swept off my feet.

Now I look back and laugh at how pathetic I appeared to be.
But the pain was real, I'm sure.

Unhappy Hippo

Create a MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

For Azahar, with love.

Ginger

You wanted my response,
You wanted to know how I think
So that's want I think..

Years down the road if things go well,
I wanna look back and know it started sweetly.
And not with grey areas or doubt.
You know what I mean?

Can you do it?
We shouldn't jump stages all the way to the stage where we have room for complication like those examples I told you,
The trade off is too high.
And we can't cure it ever...

Whoop T Whoop

Artist: Pitbull
Track from Album: The Kraziest
This is so catchy and so sexy I've been listening to it all day, need to get to a club. Fuckk...

Mark

I'll like to make my mark on you.

Sure... Nothing screams more than "Hi mum and dad, I've got bruises to present a possibility that I'm participating in hot, sweaty sexual activity you feared; with a random brutally hot male" like a love bite.

Great Expectations Fountain Kiss

Great Expectations Fountain Kiss Scene - Amazing videos are here

The News From Your Bed

I really wonder how dominatrix-s are like in real life.

I mean it takes a whole lot of character to play a part like that. More often than not, it can be assumed that that overpowering control in that character is also part of themselves. Like how amazing actors have snippets of different obsessions, sporadic bursts of emotions and personality disorders.

I wonder what's it like when a dominatrix gets insanely tempestuous, will that little sadomasochism come out to take over?
Will a dominant male shove his wife/girlfriend into the wall, strangle her, force painful sex upon her?
Does your sexual preference really reflect your personality?

(Untitled Post)

Baby, TAKE IT SLOW!
No rush, there's time. You've got 7 years. Relax

Lake

You're such a mystery, it's intriguing.
You're so confounded, it worries me.
You're so aspirational, it's revolutionising.
You're so tempting, I'll take a rain check.
You're so adorable, it's cuddle-some.
You're so exotic, I can't decide to either eat you or date you.
You're so brilliant, it's sexy.
We're so alike, it's scary.

So Uncool

Azahar! The Alligator loves you.

Fuck No

After contemplating on whether or not to get a fuck buddy. I told all those potential ones of my intention not to.

I mean I thought of it only on the basis of "What did caring ever do for me? I might as well not care." well I can't possibly not bother about things.
It's just not my nature (hell yeah, love like Mother Theresa huh Jeannette).
Why should I continue to pursue something - out of attempting to justify the injustice done onto me - when it's not even part of my traits.

I asked those having a healthy/unhealthy dose of casual sex regularly how fulfilling is it really? They say it's exciting enough, the thrill of having yet another girl in bed. The way every girl kisses or rocks their body is different, every blow-job is different too... And of course the moans are different. Maybe cause they're boys and they're just thinking with the head in their pants but I doubt that will be enough for me.

I still find myself looking out for THAT special man that could actually LOVE.

Polyvore Carnivore

To Work:

17th April by cherylalistair featuring Balmain tank tops

Polyvore is DA BOMB.

Cow-King

I went clubbing alone yesterday out of boredom.
I got myself started, always relying on alcohol to get the night started.
There was dancing, winking, being groped by unknown strangers.

But there was one particular guy; he had a cute face, held me close and tight, his scent was delicious and then I found myself not thinking.

Stuffed into a cab, my buttons undone; his lips pressed against mine. His lips went to my chest, the wet warm suctions I felt on my nipples, I moaned with pleasure by the tender touches.
I got kidnapped by this real charming man to his place.

I laid flat, my head pulsating; I couldn't do anything. We kissed and my clothes were slowly and yet roughly peeled off. He pulled me onto his lap and I cradled him, rocked him so hard.
His scent oh so over-powering, it made me want him so much.
My libido already uncontrollable, was raging. Asking for a man to satisfy my wants/needs.

This obviously experienced man started performing evil dominating experiments on my quivering body. My arms tied behind my back with electric cable ties, so I could not protect myself as my breasts were roughly handled with. Pinched and teased, it felt so good to be over topped.
Forced on my knees, I was fucked hard while a vibrating toy rubbed against my pink pearl. I screamed, moaned and then my mouth was stuffed. I was spanked and told to shut up. Pounded from behind, my body twitched and my head cocked back as the ecstatic shock passed through my nerves...

-Cheryl

Some night huh?! HAHAHA
Nah that's not what happened. I went clubbing with Calvin my new friend I met at work. We both got very drunk and nearly vomited onto each other's shoes. It was hilarious and playful.

I'm really good at erotic stories right? I mean you went "OH MY FUCKING GOD CHERYL YOU'RE A SLUT" for a moment.

Get Into The Indie Rave

New listening homework for today: Electronica
Similarities between Death From Above 1979, Hadouken!, Does It Offend You, Yeah? and maybe Muse.
I am so in love with Trash Fashion now.

Autobiography In Short Literature

I.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault
It takes forever to find a way out.

II.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in, again
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

V.
I walk down another street.
- Portia Nelson

Most people are attracted to mates who have their caretakers' positive and negative traits and typically the negative traits are more influential... What the brain constantly attempts is to re-create the conditions of your upbringing, in order to correct them, it is trying to return to the scene of your original frustration so that you could resolve your unfinished business.
The ingredients necessary for full growth and healing - attention, concentration, security, time, deepest intimacy and the full mirroring of ourselves through our partner - are possible only in marriage.
It is through the commitment to accept and heal the other's wounds, to provide a safe haven for the partner to experience his or her wholeness over a life time, that we are able to recapture our original wholeness. We cannot heal ourselves, and we cannot heal in open-ended, precarious relationships.
- Harville

Not only is sex desirable, but it is holy, when sanctified in a caring, committed relationships... It is ordained by God Himself as the means for the perpetuation of the human race and for the ultimate expression of human love.
- Rabbi Maurice Lamm (Judaism)

"I WANT TO FREAKING DANCE NOW?!"

So I went to Phuture yesterday and woke up late. Too late for Easter Sunday mass, I owe God too many "Hail Mary"s already. It was some kinda night; hot, sticky and sweaty. HAHA.

Anyway Jeannette and I had to mend a stall at The Trinity Mount Sophia. It was so much work and it was so boring considering the fact that I hadn't cashed my cheque and didn't even have a single cent.

Oh did I tell you? It really was some kinda weekend.

Bar Maids Indeed

Work was so boring.
The few people sitting at the bar counter had the entertainment of 2 bar maids. One in an oversized teeshirt mini dress and the other in a scoop neckline mini dress do housekeeping. Cleaning the mid and lower bottle counters (the highest is unreachable to me and requries the make-shift beer keg ladder), cleaning each and every bottle, rearranging the Chivas Regal/Absolute Vodka/Black Label Whiskey cabinet and scrubbing grime off every refridgerator.
Some night huh...

Reach Out And Touch Faith

*Note: Religious Post*

I had Good Friday lunch at my cousin's place. She was a devout confirmed Catholic turned Christian. I never understood why she decided to convert till today and she had a very good point.

Catholics often focus on service, we go for mass, listen to the word of the Lord, use the rosary, compulsory vegetarian days. Yet, how many of us really understand God? To really let Him into our hearts? I can't remember anything from Catholicism class. I don't feel that He's with me all the time, it's like He's there when I need Him and after I'm alright He seems to just disappear assuming I'll be fine on my own.

I don't know how to open myself to Him, let Him in and embrace my soul. Maybe I'm not ready yet but I'd wish it'd be soon cause I'm a mess.

Shoot, Shag, Marry

Truth or dare has never been so amusing.

Mating Dating Season

I'M BACK... AND FEELING BETTER THAN EVER.

We Dress For The Game

For some reason I really like this photograph I took/edited of Jeannette. Doesn't she just look smoking hot?

CREATIVE Energy

Reduction in libido can occur from psychological causes such as loss of privacy and/or intimacy, stress, distraction or depression. It may also derive from the presence of environmental stressors such as prolonged exposure to elevated sound levels or bright light. Other causes include depression, stress or fatigue, childhood sexual abuse, assault, trauma, neglect, body image issues, lack of interest/attraction in partner, sexual performance, anxiety

Being very underweight, severely obese, or malnourished can cause a low libido due to disruptions in normal hormonal levels. - Wikipedia

We're Rockstars

I AM SO UPSET THAT DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH? IS ON THE SOUNDTRACK OF FAST AND FURIOUS 4.
MAIN-STREAMING NOW YO?
UPSET!!!!!!!!

(Untitled Post)

Sorry I've been reading quite a bit so here's all the selected reviews I forgot to write about.

His Illegal Self

BY: Peter Carey

Carey, who has made a career out of boring into the psyches of scoundrels, delivers a cunning fugitive adventure set largely in the wilds of Australia. Raised by his boho-turned-bourgeois grandmother on New York's Upper East Side, Che Selkirk, seven years old in 1972, hasn't seen his Weathermenesque parents since he was a toddler, but when a young woman who calls herself Dial walks into Che's apartment one afternoon, he believes his mother has finally come. Within two hours, Dial and Che are on the lam and heading for Philly as Che's kidnapping hits the news. Unexpected trouble strikes, and soon the boy and Dial, who doesn't know how or if to tell Che that she is only a messenger who was supposed to escort him to meet his mother, land in a hippie commune in the Australian outback. The novel sags as Dial, with the help of local illiterate feral hippie Trevor, tries to make the primitive living situation work; the drama consists largely of commune infighting and the travails of living without running water, but the narrative eventually regains its thrust and barrels toward a bang-up conclusion. While this novel lacks the boldness of Theft or the sweep of Oscar and Lucinda, it's still a fine addition to the author's oeuvre. - Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc.

I didn't even finish the book. It was too annoying for me, I didn't like his style of writing

On Off

BY: Colleen McCullough

Here's something new from the author of The Thorn Birds and numerous high-concept historical fiction titles: a straight-up detective thriller. It's 1965, and a dismembered body is found in a storage refrigerator at a neurological research centre in Connecticut. Lieutenant Carmine Delmonico soon realizes he has got something new on his hands: a psychopath who kills for sport. In modern terms, a serial killer. McCullough, who admits to being a long time reader of crime novels, is clearly well versed in the traditions of the genre: the novel features a working-class detective in an unfamiliar environment (sort of like Columbo) and a large cast of potential suspects (think Agatha Christie). The characters are vividly drawn, and the story itself is quite intriguing. A demon for research, McCullough packs the novel with enough information about the operation of the research centre that we almost feel like we could run one. There are flaws: the prose is a bit overwritten, with phrases so out of place that they pull the reader up short ("Stygian coldness," for example, on the very first page). Also, the over-abundance of exclamation marks is sure to grate on many readers. But, despite these stylistic shortcomings, the novel should prove entertaining enough both to McCullough's many fans and to thriller readers who have never met a serial killer they didn't want to read more about. - David Pitt; The Booklist

Treated to a crate stock set of academic characters associated with The Hug (University at which the first body was found), never focused on and come back into the picture when they were already placed at the back of your head, too many names to handle.

Overall, On, Off is mostly well crafted, though there are too many side-stories, some of which tantalize and then go nowhere. Because of it's setting of high racial unrest, undeveloped technology the story unfolds mainly on manipulation and fast thinking. Patience is vital.

The beauty of the book is it's vivid and gruesome descriptions of the decapitations, torture; all going far beyond the hard-boiled crime fiction. You want twisted, here's twisted.

Sex as a Second Language

BY: Alisa Kwitney

There is a history of betrayal in Kat's life. She's had no contact with her father since he left when she was 10, her ex wants all their cash but no contact with their son, and her friends aren't respectful of her needs. But she does have the support (and annoyance) of having her mother live across the hall, her job as an ESL teacher, and auditions that may give her entry back into her acting career. Although this should be sufficient complication and angst for a novel, Kwitney tosses in an attractive undercover CIA agent assigned to pose as an ESL student so he can locate Kat's father, who was also an agent. Kat needs a boarder, the agent needs a room, and the rest is the stuff that dreamy stories are made of. With the help of our love-smitten CIA agent, Kat learns a great deal about her son, her ex-husband, her friends, and herself and finds the romance that completes her life. If you are looking for a pleasant, undemanding read, this is it. Danise Hoover; The Booklist

I found it to be a page turner, yes I do have a giant thing for coming of age(40) books. I finished the book in a day. Curl up with this book with a broken heart, on a stormy evening, Earl Grey tea, cookies and feel better, not alone.

Realize that you will figure out of the way of the shit that happens in life and divorce is survivable. No more worries about marriage - okay still a giant worry!
Darkly humorous, emotionally honest, and unabashedly sexy, Alisa Kwitney's novel affirms that forty isn't the end of the road -- sometimes, it's a new beginning.

Losing Talent, Taking Notes

I HATE THE GAME...
THE ATTRACTION NONSENSE, ATTENTION FROM THE WRONG PEOPLE, PICKY ONES, UNMADE UP MINDS, REGRETFUL ONES, THE COWARDS, AWKWARD SILENCES, DISCONTINUED CONVERSATIONS AND DECODING.

I CAN'T READ MEN ANYMORE!!!!!!

Destination Calabria

Artiste: Alex Gaudino feat. Crystal Waters
I never knew that the video did so much justice to the song.

I Snorted Flamed Vodka

Impromptu arrangements and guest appearances.

I brought my own bottle of absolute vodka out since drinks at Rebel are too expensive so we got high on a bridge. Ever since I became a bartender at Caesars I've become unable to taste the strength of each house pour I seemingly involuntary add double shot to my own drinks now since at work we'll go half strength to make sure the floor staff would be able to withstand the whole night.

From this picture I realised how fucking skinny I am now.

Image Vomit

I'm feeling a spree of colours, breezes and sweetness