-GIBBERISH-

EDITED

I went to view the new house today, I thank God Cal was with me otherwise; that's a different story. Sometimes I just really don't get my parents. They got me so excited about how big my room was going to be and how they were going to make a walk-in closet for me. At the end? I got a puny room meant to be solely be a guest room, to be filled with one bed a mini dresser cum vanity table and decorated with pretty ornaments. I swear it's smaller than any bed room in a reasonable 5-room HDB apartment.
The other room I could choose from would be on the ground level known as the study in the blue prints, which is bigger but ridiculously hard to design due to the position of doors: main, toilet, utility outlet.

I felt impotent and out of sight. The house was supposedly bought because our family is now so big but obviously I've been left out in the picture. Whilst I'm trying my best to be unaffected, of course as usual anger crept into my system undetected like poisonous gas.

If my father bought the house for solely himself just say it don't come to me and say "It hurts to see you so sad." well you should have thought about everyone else's opinions even if your word is law under your roof it should have been a decision your wife and yourself have made together.

And there is my mother being the target of victimization. Trying to be the peacemaker of the house. Saying that as a wife she needs to support her husband but she loves her kids so she will spend money trying to make my room as beautiful as possible. I hate the fact that she is so recessive, as explosive as I am I'm sure that I've these recessive genes/character/subconsciousness hidden somewhere and that is going to make my life miserable. And oh, sure she can find some way into other realm through magical portals that connect to my allocated room to make it bigger indeed. Also volunteering to make my toilet pretty is not as exciting as it seems, I love bathrooms but I'm not spending my life in there with a non-existent laptop.

I'm not being a brat, I rather my parents tell me straight up that I was forgotten and not offer to give me all this renovation-my-word-is-law-card cause I know I will take it just for the sake of beautifying things. I still know that that means there will be another part that I will 'technically' owe them something again.

I wish there wasn't so much emotional blackmail involved in this shit, our shit, my shit. I'm hell tired, I'm pretty sure at this rate I'm never going to put up with this blackmail ever if it comes from anyone. But that's another long long story reserved for another day.