Emotional Punching Bag

I always find myself stuck in people's problems, always given the annoying role of being the mediator or the decider.

I was going to go out to Obar with Jeannette cause I'm an obvious sellout for a cheap high then it turned into a daughter-stop-mother-from-doing-something-stupid night.
She called me out to go drink with her and I hung up on her and made cancellation calls and reports to my dad. When I'd finally gotten a chance to call her back she thought she was second place and there starts the emotional blackmail.
My dad had done to look for her first so the 3 of us sat at the country club with her sipping on long island tea without coke and with horrible country music in the background.

She starts her depressed state of mind with opinions that don't change and expectations that are supposed to be lived after - there is no sign of gratitude when achieved. I never understood how someone this sad could be this blind and two-faced.
Boy does she ruin love and marriage for me with what I know is utter bullshit but is supported by years and years of accumulation and cause and effect.

It's a pity that she's so cold and hard now when we're not that different. She tried to harden my heart, she tried to position me into avoidance of the opposite sex, she tried to love me as much as she possibly could; all as effort to make sure I wouldn't end up like her. Swept up and over, married and lost it all again.
The complexity of the marriage between my parents is still cosmic and unbound which still have affected the way I thought and still think about life and love especially.
I end up being the emotional punching bag for both of them when they get sick of bruising each other.

Anyhow I ended up drinking by the bar next door while waiting for her to finish her jackpot nonsense. I was drinking by myself and so hurt and upset by the things she says I stole $2 from my mum just so I could buy cigarettes off people.
I was so happy that the members of my country club would let me just take a cigarette after cigarette off them. I think I drank almost a tower of beer got exhausted and went to the jackpot room that looked like an elderly home to have free congee. Eventually I got my high from ringing machines mum home.

Some night...